Wandering with my eyes and heart open, searching for pieces to add to my own personal big picture.

Inspired…Is Something I am Not

How funny is that? I went looking for a prompt to write from, looking for a boost this afternoon, and the first one I come across is from Writer’s Write’s February 2022 Prompts, “Inspired.” That’s exactly how I’m NOT feeling today.

inspired
Something that DOES inspire me!

My goal of posting every day must not be thwarted and tomorrow I need to leave early for a breakfast date. I won’t have time to read and wake up, write, and post before showering and heading out the door at 7am. I could tell myself I’ll make it work, but I know from experience that I’ll rush and then walk away.

That, my dear reader, would end a 36-day posting streak. I can’t let that happen.

So what can I do but write something today and have it ready to post in the morning after breakfast?

It’s almost 3pm and this time of day is not usually my most creative or focused. It’s when my husband gets off work, I finish up some things around the house, dishes, paperwork, maybe read more. We make dinner and then watch a tv show or two before bed. Sitting down to write at 3pm is like sitting down to write after a long day at a job.

But I have to think of something. I have an idea I’m batting around in my head about life being a lot like a trip to Disneyland. I have a page of notes, analogies, and a bit of an outline. I’m inspired about that but I don’t want to put it out there too soon, all unfinished and messy. I’ll save it for later. You’ll like it, I promise.

I’m feeling rather lazy today. I did get my short to-do list done, so I decided to sit and read another hour in Dean and Me by Jerry Lewis. I feel bad having to say this, but I’m not feeling all that inspired there. Books about or by movie stars rarely get me going. Performers, actors especially, have always got on my nerves.

In high school, university, and at work, my work, my art, always was the background to these egomaniacs. I get it. I know. What’s there to light? What’s there to mic? Who would stand on that stage? If no one throws themselves out there for people to look at, I would have been out of work. Someone needs to sing and dance. But seriously, they’re all crazy and being around them makes me nervous.

Reading about actors and their lives, I’m always wondering, “What kind of degenerate…?” It’s the same with this. Jerry Lewis just thinks he’s the shit and he probably was. Not everyone can do what they do. They are magic. But still…yikes.

Today, several times, he alluded to all the women they were running around with. All of them were married and had children with someone else. All of them are rarely home to care for those wives and children. And all he can say is, “I don’t remember exactly how we got back to the hotel, having been at the chicks’ respective apartments, drinking champagne, and doing all the things two guys on the town do…Married or not, you do them – certainly at that age you do.”

Actually, they don’t, Jerry. At least not the respectable ones don’t. Or do they? I’ve heard from many of my male friends that chasing women is just a game. They don’t mean anything by it. It’s just natural. I have a hard time believing that. But then, I’m not male, so what do I know.

All I know is that the men in my life don’t act like that, or at least they don’t let me see them acting like that.

Then I wonder, what about the women? The two actress’ he was talking about were also married with children. They knew what they were doing “out on the town.” I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. It’s not my personality to take sexual relationships lightly. I’m no prude, not by a long shot. And I’m certainly not innocent. But at least I’m honest. To each his own, I suppose.

I’ll keep reading, even though Jerry isn’t making a fan out of me. I’m already a third of the way through the book, not because it’s all that inspiring to read, but because I got so SUPER lazy today and decided to spend most of the on the couch with a book.

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5 Comments

  1. It’s one thing for two people to make discreet arrangements. It’s quite another to write about it and be so cavalier about it. Neither side is innocent but the husbands/wives and children are collateral damage.
    I don’t think I’d want to read about this. And I don’t want any delusions towards Dean Martin (who, I am sure was no innocent, either)

    • Michelle Huelle

      My thoughts exactly. It does make you think though. When we write about our lives and experiences, how do we sound? Everyone brings in their own backgrounds and ideas when they read something. I’m always afraid of being judged when I post personal stories.

      • Well, the way I see it… And I’m forever quoting Anthony Hopkins: what other people think of me is none of my business so maybe we shouldn’t worry at all about what other people think when we share our stuff. Not easy to do but one I am working on.

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