There’s something I often say that suddenly got on my nerves and I had to correct myself. I stopped in my tracks and took notice after writing it in a Facebook post and then saying out loud to my husband as I got ready to take a shower. What was it?

“And NOW I’ll start my day…”

Seems innocuous, doesn’t it? But it is self-defeating and ridiculous. Here’s why.

It’s not the words I’m saying that are crazy talk, it’s WHEN I’m saying it. It usually comes to me when I am going through my husband’s office, gathering my stuff, and heading to the shower. Yesterday I realized why I say it.

I’m making excuses for why it looks like I’m only now getting off the couch and moving around the house, six hours after I woke up. But what have I been doing those last six hours?

Every morning I get up at 4am. My husband’s office is our bedroom. He works at 6am. I can’t sleep while he’s on the phone talking to co-workers and clients. Besides that, I know it sounds nuts, but I like to keep the same schedule as my husband so that we can actually LIVE together.

It’s 4am. Now what? I get a cup of coffee, my book, and my journal and I sit on my end of the couch and read. At 5am, he gets in the shower and then we go for a walk at 5:30. At 6, I do my yoga and meditate, maybe read a bit more. Between 7 and 8am, I make some breakfast and journal. After that, I sit to check my social media, post something to share with my friends and family, and then I write my blog post and edit and share the one I wrote the day before.

Now, it’s around 10am, maybe even as late as 11am. I get up, get in the shower, make my bed, start some laundry, do a couple chores, and have lunch.

“And NOW I’ll start my day?” Yeah, right! My day started hours ago, no wonder I’m exhausted by 3 or 4pm and just want dinner and some time to watch my favorite TV shows with my love most days!

I sat wondering. Why do I do that? Because my superpower is overthinking! Where would I be without it? Certainly not here on my computer tapping out words for several hours a day.

Somewhere along the line, I got it into my head that being me isn’t part of my actual workday. I haven’t had a job outside my home in twenty years. I raised our kids, homeschooled, and supported my husband while he supported us. Teamwork! And now I’m retired from that career, mostly. I mean, I’m still a housewife, but that isn’t nearly as much work as it used to be, so I have time to look around for another one.

Reading and writing here is my work. No, it doesn’t make me any money, but it does make me happy and fulfilled in the same way being a housewife does.

Some people might think I’m simply taking up space in this world. I say that’s what a human’s job is, to take up space. I’m just trying to do it in the happiest way possible without putting too much of a load on anyone else.

I refuse to say, “Now I’ll start my day” ever again. My day starts when I wake up in the morning and everything I do, from reading my book to watch tv, is a legitimate part of my day. I’m happy this way.