Another Podcast Roundup is needed, most definitely. But where to begin? I’ve recently fell in love with a few new self-help podcasts. I’ll start there!
It was one of those days that I wish our eyes recorded for playback whatever we gazed upon. The drive out of the desert was that beautiful. Some sort of mechanism set inside, maybe even a pair of glasses that, when you blink your eyes, takes a clear color still of whatever is set before you.
The heavy rain clouds tumbling over one section of a mountain pass, the bright morning sun pouring into another, made windows with different scenes; one dark and dreary, another bright and snow covered. Layers of mountain passes, green covered in the lower parts leading up the passes, grey and white mingling up to the blazing white tops. Beautiful, cold, and windy. Wow.
It was a self-help podcast kind of day. I’ve been listening to economics and politics in spurts all week while I did the dishes or worked on my latest quilt project, so I needed to switch gears for a while. I think I made a good choice because there were pages of scribbled notes and much to talk about at the end of my drive. Food for coffee talk chatter, and some potential ideas to move on as well… if I don’t lose my nerve.
Master Your Relationship Mind Drama: Your Brain is NOT a Reliable Narrator
The voice inside your head isn’t you, it’s just your brain trying to make sense of what the eyes are sending it. It’s the same thing that’s happening when you’re sleeping, except then your eyes are closed and your brain is bored so it makes shit up about things it remembers instead.
YOU are the person hearing those thoughts, dreaming those dreams. I know it sounds nuts but this really clicked for me. Rebecca’s podcast has been a breath of fresh air, and her emails have been good reminders as well.
I’m a sucker for a good story from my brain. My eyes see a car in front of me, my brain starts to make up stories about it. Freakin’ Tesla, probably a jerk, cut me off because… No, just a white car, I tell myself. Please stop. Facts vs Thoughts: Epic Battles.
Book: A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle – About this book… I’ve read Tolle before and wasn’t a big fan, and this title sounds a bit “new age” for me, but I got it anyway. Why? Because quotes from it rang true to me and for $8 on Amazon, I’m willing to give him another chance.
The Happiness Lab: A Daily Workout to Tackle Nagging Self-Criticism
About halfway through this episode I realized I’d already heard it. If I remembered that little of it, then it’s not a waste to hear it again, right?!
Over the last year, I have realized how much I criticize myself, and how much it ruins how I see and react to things. I’ve done some experiments, some of which are in the book she’s talking about here, and it has helped tremendously. They sound ridiculous, and I thought they would never help me. I’m different! This isn’t what my problem is! I’m clearly mentally ill and need medical attention! That may be true, but these exercises have begun to solve many of my relationship problems, and I can’t recommend them enough.
Book: The Self-Talk Workout by Rachel Goldsmith Turow, PhD
The Knowledge Project: Carolyn Coughlin – Become a Better Listener
The big takeaway from this one was the list of three reasons why we listen: listen to win, listen to fix, and listen to learn. Our motivation changes how we approach each conversation. Most of the time we should be listening to learn, unless otherwise stated by the speaker. We should be listening to understand and connect as well. We hear what people are telling us to understand their point of view, how things look from their side, and how they experience this reality. It will give us a better understanding of our world, a 3D view, and make both of us feel more connected. THAT’S what battles loneliness.
Master Your Relationship Mind Drama: Do They Care Enough?
I’m the queen and grand wizard of “You don’t really care about me!” It can be very frustrating for the people in my life to make and keep me happy. I have a list of rules you must follow to show me exactly how much and how often you care. If you don’t follow it, then I’m a terrible person and clearly don’t deserve to be loved. I also have rules about this blog and my social media feeds.
Yeah… that’s a load of shit. Isn’t it?! But it really is how I’ve been operating most of my life. This podcast among others, and books, and Instagram posts (yes, really), have helped me change my thinking and become an easier person to love.
Actually, they taught me to love myself, stop treating others as “validation vending machines,” and see the love that other people show. It feels very nice, but there is much work to do still!
The Happiness Lab: The Happiness of Silence
Ahh… precious silence. Well… some people love it. It scares me to death. And it looks like I’m not alone. I didn’t think I’d like this episode. A diatribe about spending time alone? No thanks. I’m lonely enough! But it made me think.
Sitting quietly is unproductive. At the end, you have nothing to show for your time. It’s wasteful. Long lines, traffic, having to wait for someone to show up; ugg. But what if we used those moments for quiet reflection?
Instead of being angry your date is late, sit and observe the world around you. Thank them for the moment of peace. Lines are long? Take deep breath. How lucky am I to live here where I can get mail at all! We don’t always have to be doing something.
Just writing that makes me cringe. Slow down? Do less? But I’m running out of time!
While I’m screaming that, I’m missing the gorgeousness of the moment I’m currently in. It feels like you’re asking me to enjoy the wind in my hair as I fall toward the ground at terminal velocity. But I’ll try it. Other things counterintuitive seem to be working, so why not!?
Master Your Relationship Mind Drama: 7 Tips for Creating Connections
Connections… my nemesis. Out of an extraordinary amount of fear, I do not reach out to people even when I desperately need them. I want to join… something, anything. A hiking group, a book club, anything! Maybe even start a group of my own: Women over 50 looking to make new active friends!
But… What if people don’t like me?! I’d rather be alone.
Yeah, something has to be done. I need encouragement here. If only I had an emotional support something.
And that was all of them! I know, it looks like an excessive amount of listening, but they’re all short ones this week, except for The Knowledge Project. What’s crazy is I stopped to smell the flowers, got a bit of quiet time on the drive, as well as a chance to listen to all of Teaser and Firecat on Spotify.
There’s so much to process and practice.
[…] overloaded and stressed, thinking we have to react NOW, we make far more mistakes. I talked about slowing down and responding better in my last Podcast Roundup, and it came up again […]
[…] I was almost done reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I mentioned putting that on my list in a Podcast Roundup, but never posted about starting to read it. […]