There are too Many Experiences out There!

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Photo by Eli Francis on Unsplash

“There are too many books in this world to waste precious time reading ones we don’t enjoy.”

A reader posted a meme about someone saying they didn’t like a book (acceptable) but they didn’t finish it (unacceptable). I think that’s ridiculous. Reading is supposed to bring us joy or information. If I’m not enjoying the book, I rarely get much information from it. And so…it’s a waste of the precious time on this earth that we are given to continue.

Now, there are books that moved a little slow for my taste at first or the subject didn’t quite hold on to me, but I kept at them because the writing was good and I wanted to give it a fair shake. Those books ended up being great for the most part. If I have to force myself to keep reading or don’t have the urge to keep reading the next chapter, I put that book down. It may not even be a bad book. It just isn’t for me.

You know what’s strange? The same goes for the rest of life. If it doesn’t bring you positives, let it go. There are so many experiences in this world and we have so little time on this planet. Why would we waste that precious time on things that aren’t serving us? Sure, there are things we have to do, things we need to do to survive or to take care of our loved ones, but if we do them from the right frame of mind, they end up being positives as well and worth doing. Why would we deliberately choose to stay in a situation, a job, a relationship, anything, that brings absolutely no joy to ourselves or someone we cherish? Just put the book down.

How about we all practice taking responsibility for our own happiness for a change? If you’re unhappy, unsatisfied, unfulfilled, change something. Change the process. Change your surroundings. Change the direction. Change your attitude. Take back the control of your own life instead of just floating along with the flow.

Start with the book you’re reading. Just like each book is not for everyone, each life choice is not for everyone. Do what you love. Be where you love. Accept responsibility for your own life choices. Go for it.

Why All the Fear?

“No fear have ye of evil curses, says you. Properly warned ye be, says I.”

What stops us from loving, from reaching out to people, from jumping in with both feet?

I believe it’s fear, but not exactly the fear of a broken heart. It’s the immature fear of not being able to possess something entirely.

And why should we fear that?

Do we go to a movie and hope it’s not very good?
We’d miss the entertainment of the hours we were there and the waste the money we spent!

Do we not buy a book because we can see it has a finite number of pages?
We’d never gain the experience the story!

Do we cry and shake an angry fist at an amusement park because it is closing and the day has come to an end?
We would ruin the day of excitement for ourselves and those around us.

Only a child would act this way because he hasn’t learned that all things come to an end, that to love is to lose, that we have the experiences not to keep them but to remember them.

Then why do we behave this way in our relationships with other people?

Why do we go out to meet people and not embrace who they are, get to know them and see if they are good friend material?

Why do we not jump into a new relationship with both feet and enjoy the moment?

And why do we throw a fit when a relationship finally ends, whether it was a long-term friendship or short term lover?

What if we didn’t?

What if we looked at the people around us as free and independent people that we might get the chance to spend time with, be that positive or negative, instead of objects to be possessed and kept like fine art collection?

What if we went into every relationship with every other human being knowing that our time together is finite, like a wonderful book, and that the point of reading it is to experience it and remember it forever?

Real Feminism

If you could OD on a podcast, it would have happened to me today. I started the day in a pretty shitty place mentally. It was one of those “everything I try to do sucks” kind of days, so I dropped everything and decided to put my whole heart and soul into cleaning the house. Sounds weird, I know, but that’s what I do when I need to escape, I clean.
What can you do while you dust and put things away? Listen to podcasts! And Aubrey Marcus has just really spoke to my soul lately. The second one I listened to today was this one, The Wild Woman and the Wild Man with Christine Hassler.

It blew my mind. There’s power here. I highly recommend you listen to the whole thing. It’s an hour you will not regret. The next couple of paragraphs won’t really make sense unless you do.

Listening to the feminine version of the poem, I can relate. It’s that feeling when I’m angry or sad and my husband walks away from me. My logical mind knows what he’s doing, and I understand it. He doesn’t want to see me upset because he can’t figure out how to fix it for me. But no one can be happy and satisfied all the time. In those moments, when I’m reactive or stressed, I desperately want to scream and at the same time know the person I love most won’t run away, that maybe he’d even like to see that side of me. The side that stands up and insists that I get what I want right now. When the ugly or hard side shows, I want to know I don’t have to hide it from him for fear of losing his love or respect.

And then he read the masculine version…and I broke down in tears. I wanted to yell out, “I’m here! I’ll love that!” It was powerful and touching. I wish more men were able to embrace that side of themselves, but I have a feeling we’ve killed that in them in the past couple of generations. It breaks my heart.

I’m desparately searching the internet for those poems so I can read them over and over again!

I wrote this yesterday and woke up this morning still thinking about that poem. I searched again and found it HERE. I must have already read it four times since I got up today. I really hope he posts his version. I’d love to have them side by side in my journal.

It takes courage and strength to be in a wild persons life. Luckily, I have that partner. But am I that woman? I have felt that call in my soul, but I’ve lived in a tame way, usually out of fear. That isn’t negative, it’s honesty. You can have a wild heart and live tame for a time. Eventually, if I continue to live honestly, I’ll answer that call. I think it has already begun. My only wish is that I had listened earlier, but then, would I be where I am? In this magical place?

Men and women are not enemies, we are allies, partners. One does not need to be weak to make the other strong. We walk along side each other toward common goals. We do not need each other, we want each other. We move in and out of each others lives. We create together.

It’s a lot to think about on a Wednesday morning.